thank you white people

No, not for the Middle Passage and definitely not for Bill O’Reilly or Ann Coulter. No thank you for colonial imperialism and the subsequent Berlin Conference. No, I can’t thank you for J. Edgar Hoover and Bull Connor either. It just won’t happen, ever. I am not going to Graceland! I am not thanking white people for what tragically happened to Emmett Till, Medgar Evers, or Michael Jackson. But, white people get the props though. Here’s a brief list of those persons who you may be familiar with that epitomize the cool.

Bob Power He is a legend, the sonic sorcerer. Without Bob Power, I can’t imagine how I would listen to music, sound-wise. You may not know about Power, but you know his work. Well, that’s if you read album credits and liner notes. He mixed and/ or recorded some of my favorite albums from A Tribe Called Quest, The Roots, D’Angelo, De La Soul, Common and Wu-Tang. Paul Newman I can’t help but to belch out a Pharrell-esque “I’m a Hustler, Baby!!!!!!” when I think of Mr. Newman. Besides making pretty decent salsa, he has made some incredible films. “The Hustler” is one of those films. Don’t forget the sequel, “The Color of Money,” with a pre-couch-hopping Tom Cruise. “The Verdict” was dope, as well. His characters’ complexities are always tugging at my heart strings. And, “Road to Perdition” wasn’t bad either. Chevy Chase He was Fletch! Weezer from "Steel Magnolias" Don’t tell me I’m the only dude who enjoys that movie! I like the band too (I’m Buddy Holly, you bitches!!!!) David Axelrod Because of this man, I can excuse white people for Pat Boone. Come on, white people. Really? Pat Boone? Luckily, there’s David Axelrod, one of the dopest producers of all-time. His work with Cannonball Adderley and David McCallum was out of this solar system. His solo stuff is great too. If you’re not familiar with Axelrod, listen to “The Next Episode” by Dr. Dre. Jaco Pastorius another great musician. He was a bassist for the jazz hybrid, The Weather Report. Well, he made this song and have to say this: “Portrait of Tracy,” the most beautiful two minutes that these big Keelber Elf ears have heard. Ted Demme yeah, he directed “Blow” with Johnny Depp. But he’s on this list because he was the creator of a show that made me who I am today. It was called “Yo! MTV Raps.” Rest in Peace. Robin Williams a truly funny man that made me enjoy him dressing in drag. Unfortunately, Ving Rhames couldn’t pull it off for me. Christopher Walken you already know! Clint Eastwood This doesn’t need an explanation, especially when one of his “worst” movies is a guilty pleasure for me. You saw “Pink Cadillac.” Marky Mark not this: but his redemption is real. Tom Hanks He makes me wanna be a nice guy. The militant black man inside melts away when I watch Forrest Gump. Basically this man’s career is full of dope films. On a personal note, I actually credit “Philadelphia” with introducing me to the concept of not hating gays because I was not gay. Now, if we get Pat Robertson & Co. to feel the same, we’d be making progress. But wait . . . no homo. Guy Ritchie i like this dude's movies. The same applies to Quentin Tarantino Spike Jonze I am not going to write about him. Go to YouTube , explore and send me a bouquet of Peruvian Lilies and write on the card, “Thank You Steve. You’re the best.” MC Serch It’s too obvious to say Eminem is cool (besides that doo-rag he wears) and I’m not an obvious guy, obviously. As one-third of 3rd Bass, Serch was holding it down for white guys in hip-hop besides those 3 Jewish boys from Brooklyn. 3rd Bass came out with two ill ass albums and they helped introduce the world to a chipped-toothed street disciple and a guy named Zed Luv X. Zed now goes by M.F. Doom. Listen to Jay’Z’s “Takeover,” when Jay spits, “Ask who I paid god? Serchlight Publishing.” yup. Allen Ginsburg a poet. A great poet. One of my favorite poets. Rick Rubin Like I said with Bob Power, Rick Rubin changed the world so people like me could fester. Mr. Rubin is the original founder of Def Jam. He started it in his dorm room – imagine that. He also the produced James Todd Smith, those three Jewish boys and Run DMC. David Grohl

When I saw “Smells Like Teen Spirit,” I recall wanting to be a drummer. Then, following a brief convo with Moms and saying something about “too much damn noise in this house,” I stuck with my clarinet. Through the years, Grohl has gone from drums to lead guitar and vocal. So I can do different things and still succeed? Yeeessssssssssssssssssssss

Kevin Smith writer and filmmaker. He’s Silent Bob most times.

Bob Thiele

This dude was a producer! He produced John Coltrane’s “A Love Supreme.” He then started his own record label (my 3rd favorite record label), Flying Dutchman Records.

The Red Hot Chilli Peppers “Under the Bridge” is one of my favorite songs (I have too many favorite songs, by the way). They revolutionized the sock too. Eric Clapton I wasn’t familiar with dude until MTV Unplugged and since then, this hardcore thug from Stafford County has been jamming ever since – his blues, his reggae, his acoustic soul. Whatever, I am listening to Sir Clapton Jack Nicholson I don’t have to tell you. Ed Norton A dope lead + a dope supporting cast + a dope director = The 25th Hour. Henry David Thoreau Oh, I can’t forget Ralph Waldo Emerson too. But I am not writing anything about these two fine gentlemen. What about you read their work? Jon Stewart He made being smart cool. Sorry Lupe. John Mayer I heard “Room for Squares” in high school but my friend really introduced me to him a few months ago. Her favorite song is “Slow Dancing in a Burning Room.” Not bad. My fav is “Daughters.” Zach Braff Because of that same friend, I added “Garden State” and “The Last Kiss” to my favorite movies list. And, I actually like both of those movies! Thomas Edison He invented the turntable. Robert DeNiro sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittt. You saw "Goodfellas" and "Casino." Forgetaboutit! Al Pacino sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittt.. Even if he played a gangster in a lot of his films, “Scent of a Woman” crushes the competition.

Simple and plain, thank you white people. Well, off I go, returning to the janitor closet to blast dead prez.

© MGNTK 2019